This week as we think about setting the table for a special gathering of friends and family members, what also comes to mind is how we are intentionally setting the table and building the foundation for generations to come.  As we quietly step onto the foundation laid before us, and begin to pave the way for others to follow, meals and gatherings take on more meaning and significance.  Consistent, purposeful gatherings with family, friends, and community members take on a vital role in the planning, preparation, and positioning of future generations. 

A Clear Vision

During times of enslavement, Black gatherings took place in secret. Although often hidden under cover of darkness, secluded and unexposed, these meetings were held with a clear vision in mind.  Whether it be to discuss important matters impacting the community, share news, or develop plans for resistance, Black gatherings are anchored in clear intention.

There are a few spaces that are considered sacred enough for Black gatherings to happen.  The Black church has been one of the cornerstones of Black gatherings.  In addition to the Black Church, "Grandma's House" or "Auntie's House" are a close second. 

Much happens during these glorified gatherings.  Healing happens together at these gatherings, as does cultural preservation and the passing on of traditions, vernacular, and direction from one generation to the next. During these communal gatherings, we organize, we plan for change, and most importantly, we revel in the important relationships that help us to maintain, and sustain.

One-on-One Conversations and Intergenerational Storytelling

In the back rooms, kitchens, and on the front porches of these larger gatherings, so much of our cultural preservation happens in quiet, intimate moments that span decades and generations.  One-on-one conversations with elders, mentoring sessions in the kitchen, porch talks that stretch late into the evening are all ways in which the wisdom of one generation gets shared with the next. These are the spaces where stories are passed down, where lessons are shared, where wisdom is offered gently and personally. Older community members become living archives, carrying histories, strategies, and truths that cannot be found on television or on TikTok. When we consistently create space for these conversations, we strengthen our community and our connections.  These conversations safeguard our traditions, and prepare the next generation as they step into their own stories.

Getting the Next Generation Involved

I remember standing at the kitchen counter at my mother-in-law's house over a decade ago, diligently watching her wash and cut collard greens, learning what I needed to do in order to successfully prepare, preserve, and pass on this tradition, ensuring it would be enjoyed for years to come.  As she prepared my favorite dish for a holiday gathering, she unknowingly passed on this traditional meal to the next generation - me - as well as the generation after - her granddaughter.  Over the years, my daughter has studied me as I prepared her favorite dish from family gatherings, just as I studied my mother-in-law over a decade ago.

Let this example serve as a reminder for us to be proactive. Now is the time to get the next generation involved in the processes, planning, and decision making. We cannot wait to prepare the next generation - we must create the conditions for learning and engagement now, while we are still able to lead the way forward. 

Honoring our Past, Shaping our Future

Black gatherings are a place where we can go, where all parts of our identity will be celebrated, not just tolerated.  Our hair, word choice, music selection, and success will be recognized, respected, and appreciated. Research shows us that living in and engaging consistently with your community has a positive impact on your mental health.  It helps with managing stress and provides a sense of purpose.  Not only do regular gatherings help us to feel more connected, but they also create a healthier community as a whole. 

As we move into the season of gatherings, let’s commit to being intentional about the spirit and solidarity we are building as we gather across generations, blood lines, and zip codes. In every shared meal, story, and conversation, we are not just celebrating the present—we are shaping the future of our community.

By Vanessa Clinton